Bethany: Mom, how does my hair look?
Me: Tangly!!
Bethany: Good - it's supposed to look tangly! I'm in the show - Footloose!!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
A Tribute to My Dad
This blog has been rather undercover, but I'm afraid with this post, I'm going public - because this is the kind of post that is written, therapeutically, for public consumption, as they say. My blog is now out of the bag.
Today has been an absolutely wretched day. I didn't figure out why until after lunch, when I realized it was my dad's birthday. Once I realized why I kept bursting into tears, I have cried pretty much solid ever since. I've tried everything to avoid dealing with it - made phone calls, gone shopping, played Angry Birds, cleaned, but the grief has chased me down. It seems very odd to me, because this is the twentieth birthday my father has NOT celebrated. Yes, he has been gone twenty years, and I am still crying. Which made me wonder - it's not like this every year. WHY is it like this THIS year? And as I've analyzed it, I realize there are several reasons:
1. This is the first year I've actually had to deal with the fact that I am a 41-year old orphan. Both my parents are gone. This is odd, indeed. In addition, my sister is gone. And my aunt. Pretty much, the adult blood-relatives who really knew my dad are gone.
2.This leaves me with the burden of being the memory-bearer. When we lose someone, we say, "but their memory lives on" and it does. We have the privilege of our memories, and of sharing our memories with others who knew our loved one. But right now, I AM the memory-bearer.
And that feels like a heavy, heavy burden. So, in the spirit of bearing those memories, I think I need to share them. Because although it's been 20 years, I love my dad. and I miss my dad, and I remember my dad.
I remember, in no particular order:
Today has been an absolutely wretched day. I didn't figure out why until after lunch, when I realized it was my dad's birthday. Once I realized why I kept bursting into tears, I have cried pretty much solid ever since. I've tried everything to avoid dealing with it - made phone calls, gone shopping, played Angry Birds, cleaned, but the grief has chased me down. It seems very odd to me, because this is the twentieth birthday my father has NOT celebrated. Yes, he has been gone twenty years, and I am still crying. Which made me wonder - it's not like this every year. WHY is it like this THIS year? And as I've analyzed it, I realize there are several reasons:
1. This is the first year I've actually had to deal with the fact that I am a 41-year old orphan. Both my parents are gone. This is odd, indeed. In addition, my sister is gone. And my aunt. Pretty much, the adult blood-relatives who really knew my dad are gone.
2.This leaves me with the burden of being the memory-bearer. When we lose someone, we say, "but their memory lives on" and it does. We have the privilege of our memories, and of sharing our memories with others who knew our loved one. But right now, I AM the memory-bearer.
And that feels like a heavy, heavy burden. So, in the spirit of bearing those memories, I think I need to share them. Because although it's been 20 years, I love my dad. and I miss my dad, and I remember my dad.
I remember, in no particular order:
- the way he called me Miscilla
- he never owned a pair of jeans
- or a pair of sneakers
- so he mowed the grass in athletic shorts, dark socks and Hush Puppies
- all his pants were polyester. Even when it wasn't in style
- my mother made him buy a pink suit. And he wore it.
- he was the most organized, disorganized person I've ever known - don't mess with the 20 piles of papers on the floor of his office!
- the way his gigantic key ring jangled so you could hear him coming from a mile away
- that he was the best piano player I've ever heard. The only person I know who comes close to playing with the kind of power my dad did is Michael Yuen, and I love to hear him play.
- and he was the best sight-reader EVER. He practiced almost nothing, but could play almost anything.
- we spent hours playing music together - he would spoil me by buying me music, and then he would accompany me on random Sunday afternoons while I played viola. Or sang. But playing viola was my favorite. (And this is why I love to sight-read, lol)
- I was always amazed when I watched him play the organ. Feet? And hands? And so many stops? It was a lot for a five-year old to take in.
- He had a piano-playing face - he always dropped his jaw when he played the piano.
- he loved Chinese food, and whenever my mother went out of town, we went out for Chinese, 'cause she hated it.
- And he loved Mexican, 'cause he had a Mexican housekeeper. and he loved avocados and orange juice and orange juice and sprite.
- he had no idea how to dish a small bowl of ice cream.
- he NEVER cooked. (Was outlawed from the kitchen after a pancake-making debacle.)
- he always wanted to take me hiking in Yosemite, but we never got there
- he was an amazing calligrapher
- but honestly, no one could read his handwriting. (I can't believe I actually said that.)
- he outlawed ballpoint pens in our house - they're too hard to control and make writing illegible - felt tip pens or fountain pens only.
- there was no contemporary music in our house. Classical only. Or show-tunes. Though I finally got him to listen to Howard Jones. Funny.
- he was principled to a fault
- I mean, really, how many people start a private school because they don't want to put their child through the school system?
- he was a complete workaholic, but that doesn't mean I don't have great memories.
- in fact, he would make a beeline to his office, toothbrush in his mouth, so he didn't waste his toothbrushing time.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Stuck in the '80's...
So in my last post, I blogged about my favorite Advent books. This post then became a Bright Ideas Press post, and there, we held a contest and offered one to a lucky reader. Although that has been done on this blog many times before, I have never done it. This was a learning experience for me. So I sit at my computer in Michigan on Thursday morning to announce the winner. But how do I do this? It's on a computer screen! Do I just send the mouse whizzing down the page and see where it stops? I dunno. Must call Maggie. Maggie says, "When we do this in the office, we put numbers or names on slips of paper in a hat. And then once we have a winner, there's some way to get the e-mail address of that person." OK, I say. So I pull out my little pad of paper, cut up strips, write names on each fold them up, find something to put them in (a crystal bowl that was a wedding gift - nothing but the best around here) and call my five year old over to draw a name. Not a great choice. She wants to know what she's doing. So in a great homeschool moment, I have to expand her concept of the Internet, explain Bright Ideas, the blog, the concept that people can comment on the blog, the contest, and the way we have to draw names for the winners of the contest. 20 minutes later we were drawing a winner.
Ok. Now that I have a winner, I have to call Tyler to figure out what to do next. How do I get their e-mail address to notify, what's the best way to get the info onto the blog? Tyler says, "Wait, what was the contest deadline? I have a bunch of unapproved comments here. We need to draw again." And suddenly, through the magic of the web, I have ten more entries that need to be added to my crystal bowl. I start snipping my paper schnibbles so I can write the new names on them and that brilliant computer guru, Tyler, says...wait for it..."Would you like me to randomly generate a number between 1 and 27." And in three seconds, we had a new winner. Good thing SOMEONE at Bright Ideas Press is living in the 21st century. It's not me...I'm stuck in the '80's.
Ok. Now that I have a winner, I have to call Tyler to figure out what to do next. How do I get their e-mail address to notify, what's the best way to get the info onto the blog? Tyler says, "Wait, what was the contest deadline? I have a bunch of unapproved comments here. We need to draw again." And suddenly, through the magic of the web, I have ten more entries that need to be added to my crystal bowl. I start snipping my paper schnibbles so I can write the new names on them and that brilliant computer guru, Tyler, says...wait for it..."Would you like me to randomly generate a number between 1 and 27." And in three seconds, we had a new winner. Good thing SOMEONE at Bright Ideas Press is living in the 21st century. It's not me...I'm stuck in the '80's.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Advent takes me by surprise every year.
It's true. You'd think I'd know by now that advent comes right on the heels of Thanksgiving every year, but I think because so many grinches are trying so hard to stave off the Christmas songs and Christmas displays, I feel guilty thinking about Christmas any time before Turkey Day. And then THWAP! It's Advent. So today, as I was thinking about the Advent readings that we should have started yesterday, I pulled out my favorites, which were written by Arnold Ytreeide. Currently a series of three, with another on the way, the first book is called Jotham's Journey, the second is Bartholomew's Passage and the third is Tabitha's Travels. What I LOVE about these is that they are advent readings, but sooo much more than that! They are actually a work of fiction - a short novel to read aloud to the family, a chapter a day. Yet woven into EACH day is a message about advent, which points the reader toward Christ. Unlike other advent readings, where you may miss a day and feel the need to catch up and read two unrelated messages, with these books, if you get behind (which you might not, because the kids BEG to hear the story), catching up is a joy - it's like simply reading more chapters of a well-loved book. If there's any problem with these books, it's that you have to tell the kids they MUST wait until tomorrow - you can't read ahead! It wasn't until I found these books that our family really found success with our advent readings. And to tell the truth, I ordered Tabitha's Travels from Amazon yesterday, which means it won't get here until Wednesday, so I'll be starting three days behind. But am I worried? Naaahhh...
So, I'm pulling out the blog...
...would someone please (I don't hold out much hope - I haven't publicized this blog) remind me that in the past I was a good blogger!! I had a BUNCH of blog posts. On a different site. The fact that I've logged five posts in the past two years is...yes...well...anyway...
Honestly, I think I fell off the blogging wagon when Facebook took over my life. Did I say took over? I meant entered. Reallly. I think I thought I would use the "Notes" on there as blog posts. And I did. A bit. But as the result of Facebook, the thoughts I have that are fit for public consumption have moved from paragraphs and stories to pithy one-liners that can fit in Facebook statuses. So. There's my excuse.
I'm pulling the blog back out (I HOPE I'm pulling the blog back out) because my fantastic company, Bright Ideas Press (which you can visit at Bright Ideas Press.com - shameless plug) has its own blog, and they would like their employees to blog. Only, I feel this insane amount of pressure to have to blog appropriately, because there I'm a representative of the company. I'm queen of negative self-talk and whenever I start to write something, I can come up with all kinds of reasons that it shouldn't be posted on that site. I sorta feel like when I blog there, it should come with some disclaimer like, "the opinions expressed by this blogger do not necessarily reflect those held by the company at large." So I'm thinking that if I start blogging again here, I can get my creative juices going again - something longer than quippy FB statuses - and perhaps some of it will end up being useful for BIP's blog. Anyone up for the ride?
Honestly, I think I fell off the blogging wagon when Facebook took over my life. Did I say took over? I meant entered. Reallly. I think I thought I would use the "Notes" on there as blog posts. And I did. A bit. But as the result of Facebook, the thoughts I have that are fit for public consumption have moved from paragraphs and stories to pithy one-liners that can fit in Facebook statuses. So. There's my excuse.
I'm pulling the blog back out (I HOPE I'm pulling the blog back out) because my fantastic company, Bright Ideas Press (which you can visit at Bright Ideas Press.com - shameless plug) has its own blog, and they would like their employees to blog. Only, I feel this insane amount of pressure to have to blog appropriately, because there I'm a representative of the company. I'm queen of negative self-talk and whenever I start to write something, I can come up with all kinds of reasons that it shouldn't be posted on that site. I sorta feel like when I blog there, it should come with some disclaimer like, "the opinions expressed by this blogger do not necessarily reflect those held by the company at large." So I'm thinking that if I start blogging again here, I can get my creative juices going again - something longer than quippy FB statuses - and perhaps some of it will end up being useful for BIP's blog. Anyone up for the ride?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Weird News
In the midst of the horror of this event, does anyone else think this progression of stories on the Fox News site is a little funny?
-
Air France Mystery Deepens
Searchers locate wreckage of Paris-bound jet in Atlantic as reports emerge of bomb threat days before | PHOTOS
• Expert: Air France Black Boxes May Be Lost Forever
• How to Find a Plane at the Bottom of the Ocean
• Airbus A330 Computer 'Susceptible to Interference'
• What Causes a Fear of Flying?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Moving on in my usual blog style...
Ok, I've had all these great ideas about brilliant things I could write here. And let me tell you, the posts I've written in my head are beyond genius. But since they never make it out of the fortress of my mind, I'm going to stop worrying about being particularly brilliant, or motivating or encouraging. I'm just going to write. 'Cause heaven knows I need a place to journal stuff for the scrapbooking pages that I'll eventually get to.
Bethany has beeen the funniest of late. After seeing her older sister perform in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, she is fond of saying, "Do you want to see my show Joseph?" and twirling about the room like a dervish.
Yesterday, she walked into the dining room and said, "Mom, there's something on my sock..." She picked up her foot and looked at and said, "Oh, rice..." then picked it off and popped it in her mouth. All this in about 10 seconds. There was only time for shock and horror on my part--no time for intereference in the act.
Bethany has beeen the funniest of late. After seeing her older sister perform in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, she is fond of saying, "Do you want to see my show Joseph?" and twirling about the room like a dervish.
Yesterday, she walked into the dining room and said, "Mom, there's something on my sock..." She picked up her foot and looked at and said, "Oh, rice..." then picked it off and popped it in her mouth. All this in about 10 seconds. There was only time for shock and horror on my part--no time for intereference in the act.
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